Decide

Is this real this feeling

Familiar but one I thought

I’d leave

to my adolescence

Long ago

Her absence

is deafening

Her silence

A message of indifference

Her smile directed

Toward her horizon

I pretend to look away

While she fades

Out of existence

And I’m afraid

That she won’t stay

By my side we laid

Grand plans

For she met my gaze

As equals

Shared our painful

Histories and presents

So I thought

An inner circle

Was unspoken

As if sisters

But this feels like betrayal

Like some unknown expectation

Impossible to attain

While myself, I am feeble

I could ask to speak to her

And lay it on the table

But at this moment

As she flies away

I am not sure that I’m able

To let her go if I must

Know the truest mistake

I made when she tells me

I won’t know if there’s

Something missing

Or if it’s a story that blares

Mystery and paranoia

In place of asking

If our adventure ends now

Or if what she faces

Cannot be shared

With me or anyone

Demons that are not mine

That are no one else’s burden

But belonging to this

Friendship might show me

This loyalty is burning

And if I let my mind go

Elsewhere

She might follow

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