Today

A Poem

rain threatens to freeze
it is the kind of day
wanderers won’t land
the unsettled tethered
to the wind
or the train

I could have molded my life
with the red clay
of her grave
the dry crumbling
stone and dust
heavy on a fairy tale box

I could have given time
I didn’t feel apt to give
to know her light
truer than the shine
of her children’s shine
but we busy our lives

what is important now
the decades do what they
will before we are even
awake to our memories
even as rain drenches
words of winter

Samantha Lazar 2019

That’s my grief today. May all who suffer know peace.

Prognosis Always Anger

A Poem

when Cancer, you get cancer
we won’t light the night
our funds will be exhausted
you won’t have the will to fight

when Cancer, you get cancer
no beautiful replacement hair will fit
no meal trains will be arranged
no prayers on lips will sit

no rides to the treatment center
no hook ups to the medical weed
no morphine button to pretend to
think your body’s freed

no experimental trial to try
no one will mourn your life not lived
no trucks to find a match for you
no donations will we give

when Cancer, you get cancer
it will rot your ever dreams
we won’t be there to fear you
or your gasping pleading screams

your orphans will never join you
no colored ribbons we will tie
no standing room only funeral
and no one, no one

will cry.

The Risk to Love

A Poem

the games we played
the dance we stepped
the deepened laughs we
raised

the oceans’ crests
the candles’ lights
the days we lived with
grace

the pain we numbed
the hope embraced
the fear we gave a
name

the poison’s blood
the marrow’s gold
the chance we chose to
take

the lovers’ risks
the mothers’ eyes
the dreams wish to be
awake

the choice to love
the life to lose
the spark will never
fade

Author’s note: This is the beginning of my thoughts on this. Yesterday, the world lost another beautiful person to cancer. I will miss my friend Grace, who was a shining light to so many people. She had the most courage and strength of anyone I have ever known. And as a former teacher of both her children, I will stand protector of them, even if from afar, forever.